Future self, stop being ambitious.

or at least, ambitious without immense planning.

THE MODERN HIDALGO: Entry_050.
Written: Thursday. October 3, 2019.

Let me just congratulate myself first for making it to 50 journal entries for THE MODERN HIDALGO. That’s 50 times of me posting an entry on my Medium Account. 50 days of my life that have been shared with you guys. 50 types of stories that may or may not be about the struggles I currently face, or the amazing things that happen in my life, or the ideas that I want to make along the way. If you’re someone who has read each of the 49 journal entries, plus this one, the fiftieth entry, then thank you. You are amazing. And strong-willed, since I believe that by reading all of those entries, one might be needing a whole lot of energy and willpower in order to keep on reading my boring life.

Either way, Thank You.

Today marks the fourth day, I think, of me being able to do the things that I did on the daily back when I first started this Journal of mine. Which is to read at least a chapter of a book, and do some exercise. Another success to congratulate myself on. I’m finally getting my shit back together. Hopefully it sticks that way.

I was also able to buy a new Cork Board. In which, prior to today, I always thought it was called a Bulletin Board. But I guess the correct term for it is a Cork Board. Or I dunno. I think both are valid. Which do you prefer to call it?

I bought the Cork Board, or Bulletin Board, because an adviser of mine, which really wasn’t my actual adviser but just happened to show up last Friday when I went to the faculty to consult my shit, told me that I should create a Mood Board. Which is this panel of images that would set the tone of what you want your work to look like or feel like. It’s like a board of inspiration. It gets you in the vibe of what you’re aiming for more precisely. It sets the mood, so to speak.

It’s a bit small for my taste. But I’m just gonna have to work with it for now. I’ll probably buy a bigger one once I have the money to do so. Also bought some push pins. Gotta have those push pins. Not to be confused with thumb tacks. Thumb tacks are the golden ones. Push pins are the ones that look like a rapier knife. I dunno if that makes sense, but that’s the best description I could think about for a push pin.

What else? I went to Book Sale after buying the Cork Board and Push pins. I saw two copies of the Lord of the Rings(Omnibus Edition). Omnibus Editions, by the way, are versions of a book series packed into one actual book. For example, I have a copy of the Original Star Wars Trilogy packed into an Omnibus Edition. I also have the Omnibus Edition for the first five Spiderwick Chronicles books.

I’m considering on buying that Omnibus Edition of the Lord of the Rings. It seems to be unabridged, as I have observed awhile ago. It might be a good enough copy. Plus, it’s only 350 pesos. If I bought a full set, meaning those sets that come with the Hobbit, and The Lord of the Rings divided into three parts, I would have to buy that for 1,300 plus pesos. I can definitely settle for the Omnibus Edition.

It’s only a matter of ‘when will I get the money to buy said book’ at this point.

I drew a couple of sketches for my “graduation roadblock” thing. It’s not the best artworks out there. Not even good artworks. It’s just artworks. I dunno how else to describe it. I’m trying out automatic drawing, which is basically just scribbling on a piece of paper, hoping it would make sense or look cool once I’m done drawing.

I mean, literally, surrealistic automatism sounds so philosophical and all, but if you look at it, and just judge it for what it is, and not with any sort of background to help you absorb the art of the artist, surrealistic automatism artworks are just plain doodles, man.

That’s why I like it. But I’m not so sure if my adviser would love it, though. I guess I’m just gonna have to explain myself again. Hopefully what happened last Friday doesn’t end up happening tomorrow.

I’ll probably be busy next week. Not that I won’t be posting journal entries next week. I might actually be posting consistently next week, because I’m setting that week for library-focused sessions. I’m going to need to do a lot of research for now.

I honestly should have done the researching part a few weeks ago, but I’m just this very lazy son of a bitch.

My legs are tired. Just to point it out for my future self, once he reads this entry in the future.

Yeah, my legs are tired, they’ve been feeling tired since a few days ago. Not really tired, more of in pain. But not the same kind of pain as before. They just feel weak. I think it’s because I haven’t been walking around lately, and have been inside the house for more than I should be.

You need more leg days, future self. Get to it. Get back into your daily morning walks around UST field. You can do it, I believe in you.

I am you.

Aw man. I totally forgot about this one idea that I thought of last night while I was fixing my book shelf. I guess I’ll be talking about that in another entry. It deserves it’s full journal entry.

It’s a big project that I wanna do. It’s big in the sense that it’s so ambitious. I know, I know. I always say that I have ambitious ideas.

Well…it’s true. I won’t sugar-coat it.

22 | Dope as Fuck.